Bhavin Shukla

How do you practice self-care?

According to the Causality principle, every effect has a cause and is a direct result of that cause. For example, the candle’s flame would not exist unless the match was lit first.

Also, it is essential to distinguish between a symptom and a cause. For example, instead of applying balm/lotion to treat rashes on the skin, we should first determine what caused them. Fixing the underlying cause, such as digestive issues, can help solve the problems permanently.

I am not an expert on the subject of self-care and can only speak from my own experiences. 

Challenge Conditioning

First assess the effect or the symptoms. One may feel lonely 🥺, isolated 😔, depressed 😞, bored 🥱, lethargic 🤒, left behind 🚪, etc.

But how do we detect the symptoms initially and identify them 💡 in an unbiased manner ⚖️?

Listen to your intuition 🗣️ or your physical body for signals 🚦 of a problem that needs to be addressed.

We are so accustomed to live life as usual that we ignore these signals 🚥. Unfortunately, we are not taught to question routines or imposed belief systems.

It’s like entering a cold swimming pool 🥶. Initially, we may feel cold ❄️, but as we adapt and get institutionalised, everything is good till we leave and return.

Four Step Process, Possibly Five!

🕐 The first step 🪜 in resolving the issue is to get out of the cold water pool and observe/realise the change. 

🕑 The second, equally courageous step is to return to the pool (cold water).

🕒 The third step is to recognise and appreciate the difference, that life can be made better for which a change is required.

🕓 The fourth step is to correct it, stand up, and demand what you deserve, such as warm🌡️ water in the pool 😊.

🕔 The fifth step is optional and requires the most courage. Remember that this isn’t the only swimming pool. It is OK to choose another one that is right for you, as you may not be in a pool but have chosen to take a dip in the sea, and it is impossible to boil an ocean 🌊, i.e. change the system 💕. Some of the great saints took this difficult path, e.g. Mātā Meerā bai [see my blog, here], Surdās ji [my blog, here] and Tulsidas ji [Vijay Kumar Verma ji’s blog, here].

Summary

To me, the first step is the most important since it allows us to confront the routine, the conditioning, and prepare for asking the question. This is where we try to feel the difference of not being in that routine. To appreciate this, we must carefully choose who we socialise with; if they too are already in cold water, how can they assist/help us appreciate and define what good looks like?

It is said that we are the average of the five individuals with whom we spend the majority of time. For self-care, look around you and choose wisely where you spend your time and with whom (i.e., your allies).

Fighting battles on your own can be satisfying, but not optimal or efficient. Even world champions like Roger Federer and Sachin Tendulkar rely on a team of trusted individuals to help them reach their goals, so choose your allies! Good luck.

[For allies, please see my blog where I have discussed about allyship: allyship].

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