If you were forced to wear one outfit over and over again, what would it be?
My dādā, mother’s father, Shri Vidurlāl Upādhyāy, was a knowledgeable priest at Siddhanāth Mahādev in Gopipura, Surat. He was a devotee of Lord Shivā and Gayatri mātā.
He was huge but had the heart of a small child. He would wake up early, bathe outside on the rear end of the house (warandāh), and then visit the mandir (temple) after a cup of tea.
He would pray and perform nām japa (take lord’s name) for visitors to the deity seeking Shiva’s darshan. Throughout the day, he would sit on the bench of the mandir, where people would greet him and discuss their problems with my dādā, assuring them that he would pray for their challenges. Devotees would come from all walks of life to meet him and seek blessings, including members of the neighbouring community, intellectuals, professionals, and businessmen.
I was very young and was his favourite. Whenever I visited his house, I would sit with him on the same bench and spend time with him. When people handed him money (5 paisa, 10 paisa, 20 paisa), he would give it to me so that I could buy sweets from a local shop.
I don’t remember who bought him the sky blue coloured jumper, but it was most likely my mother. He generally felt cold, therefore winters were difficult for him. The polo neck jumper had a zip and was of double size (XXL), which meant it was also big for my dādā as well :-). This is in the mid-1980s, when polo neck jumpers with zippers were uncommon in Surat.
I loved seeing seeing him in that jumper and he looked really happy in it. When the devotees came to him for blessings, he used to put kanku (tilak / red dot) on their head, which spilled here and there. The stains of this can be seen on that lovely jumper, but he never bothered about them. He used to wear a dhoti, a paheran (casual shirt) and then that jumper on the top of that paheran. My mā, grandmother, used to constantly remind him to take care of it. However, he felt so comfortable in it that he used to be unwilling to even give in it for washing.
The fragrance of the oil deepa (lamp) and incense sticks from the mandir gave the blue jumper a distinct fragrance, as did the temple and my dādā.
I used to chat to him about how lovely he looked in that jumper. One day, out of the blue, when we were in the mandir (temple), he took it off and gifted it to me.
I accepted it without thinking twice because it was my favourite jumper from my favourite person. It was the best gift ever!
It was my turn. I never parted with it, and I used to wear it whenever I missed him at home. I never gave it for washing as it had my dādā’s special fragrance.
Unfortunately, he passed away in mid 1990s. On the 12th day after his death, as we do as per Hindu tradition, my mother wisely requested me to give the blue jumper to someone in greater need than myself, which I did.
To my mum it was not just about parting with the jumper but also about letting go my dādā’s soul as well. She wanted my dādā to start his next journey, and see us happy even after he was gone. In Hinduism, it is believed that the soul only departs for heaven after the 12th day of death.
It was about educating me not to dwell on the past, in mourning, but to look forward.
It was a lesson that you gift people what you love the most, my dādā gave it to me, and it was my turn to give away my favourite thing to someone who can appreciate it more than me.
I may have parted with that blue jumper but not with the fragrance. Many years have passed, my favourite shade is still blue, which reminds me of my mother’s and grandfather’s teachings about balancing previous memories with future goals while living in the present.
This is the first time I’ve discussed the blue jumper, and my children are unaware of it. However, my younger child already has a maroon coloured jumper from her grandfather in her wardrobe. My daughter in the UK sometimes wears it on weekends when she misses her grandfather, who is fond of paan (betel leaf) and lives in India. I sometimes see it next to her pillow, and she mentions that the paan fragrance reminds her of her dādā.
The story and the show must go on!
My Favourite Colour: Blue!
Bhavin Shukla 
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