Mind The Gap

Humans are social beings and hence are bound to be part of society.

Only two categories of people can be above society or its rules: those on whom society is dependent, such as those with power, positions, money, status, and so on, and those who are deemed crazy and arrogant, who choose to live in their own world. The rest of the normal beings rely on society/community to operate their lives.

For the ones dependent on the society, it is important to be aware of the societal gaps, i.e., the gap between haves and have-nots. This gap/disparity can be attributed to differences in status, wealth, culture, network, and skills, among other factors.

Being casual, ignorant, or unaware of the gaps can result in insults, abuse, physical or emotional exploitation, and so on.

The concept of level-up and equity looks good, and there is nothing wrong with being in a company of “superior” beings, but in the age of competition, there are not many out there who would be willing to help and pull you up. Sometimes, it may not be about competition, but the status can come in-between; due to peer pressure, no one will be willing to help you, as you will be perceived as inferior.


Symptoms


Sometimes it is beneficial to see things from a distance, i.e., come out and go back again, to check how cold the water in the pool is. We may be putting ourselves in a difficult situation by enabling others to constantly gaslight us.

For example, see this video from this year’s Ganesh Utsav celebrations from Lalbaugcha Raja Pandal, Mumbai. Due to our devotion and humility, when we are part of the queue, we struggle to see how unfairly we get treated. Until we step back and see the full picture, we are led to believe that the norms set for us are correct.

This could happen to you, and you may be treated unfairly by your close circle of friends, relatives, or colleagues.

Check: Are you being treated differently while others are present? Is there a VIP culture for some and a separate, “taken for granted” for others, such as yourself? Do you experience in-group versus out-group bias?


Overcoming Challenges


Coming from a humble background and having been fortunate to come across beautiful beings who have been my mentors and learning how they operate, I can suggest the following:

Relationships: It’s a Barter System

Do not be in a one-way relationship in which you only get and have nothing to give in return. No matter how good and beneficial the other is, it will not last if you have nothing to offer.

Equality and Respect

If you are not treated equally, you may struggle to acquire self-confidence. The partnership can also turn exploitative if one person continually dominates the other.

Allyship

Pick and choose trustworthy allies. Having allies can keep you safe while you’re in a group that makes you feel insecure.  [You can read further on Allyship over here: allyship]

Allies can also help you notice things from a distance and notify you when there are signs of exploitation. They can work as a thermometer for the pool you are in.

Purposeful Relationships

Do not form relationships just because of someone else’s better financial, religious, or political status. Do you have a similar mindset and share life’s purpose? Then proceed, not otherwise. 

Yes, one wishes to transform themselves into a “better” being, but relationships are not sustainable if they are primarily centered on personal gains.

Mindset

Do they, the higher beings, have the mentality to change society so that it is welcoming and values diversity? If the general ideology of the “group” is not reflecting the support system you are looking for, then there is no point in sticking around.

Finally : At The Count of Three

I always follow the three-strike rule. If there is a consistent breach of respect, I gently withdraw from the relationship after three incidents. I usually reflect after each offense to see if I was at fault and if there is room for improvement. If there are genuine reasons for the incidents to occur, then I consider them, not otherwise.

Finally, the planet’s population exceeds 8 billion people. It’s okay to let go of people that aren’t right for you. Nurture your relationships and make every effort to make them work, but not at the expense of your mental health, respect, and self-confidence. As the saying goes in Bollywood movies, “tu nahi to koi aur sahi,” which means that if you are not available, someone else will take your place; you will always find someone who is compatible with you. 

And always remember the golden advice from the wise: make books your friends. Good reads are superior to you, and they genuinely will lift you up. They can be our ideal allies till you find the right one.





Responses

  1. prishashuklax Avatar

    Wow that was an interesting read !

    Liked by 1 person

  2. vermavkv Avatar

    Nice write up, Sir.💕

    Liked by 1 person

    1. BHAViN shUkla Avatar

      Thank you so much. Your appreciation means a lot to me 🙏😇

      Liked by 1 person

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